The Beginning of HapilyEverAfter
by a-person-in-the-universe
Summary: What was cut out between the end of Penelope's story and the end of the movie and what happens after . Johnny and Penelope's true happily-ever-after... Fairly sappy with a bit of humor. Lemons promised, which is why this is rated M. Penelope/Johnny
1. Our Private Party

**A/N:** I thought the movie was really cute, but it definitely needed some spice, so here it is. Also, **REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW**!!!! Or else the next chappie will not be posted.

Disclaimer: I do not own _Penelope_ or Johnny *sigh*.

"_You lied to me! I guessed piano, and you said—"_

I grabbed the girl whom I now knew was Penelope. My Penelope. I kissed her.

Yeah, I know it was pretty stupid to even think that she would want to be with me. I couldn't break the curse for her. For God's sake, I wasn't even Max! Penelope was under the illusion that I was "one of her own kind", which, of course, I wasn't. How many times in the past months I had wanted my love to be enough.

While we kissed, I thought about how much I loved the girl in front of me. I realized that for the sake of a good relationship, I had to tell her the truth, so I pulled away. I said, "I'm sorry. I can't break the curse."

Penelope looked down, laughed, and looked back up at me. Then she pulled the mask off her lovely face and said, "You don't have to. I did it myself. It's me, Max!" I was dazzled by the beautiful face that was so near mine. I already knew Penelope was gorgeous, but now she was even more so.

On the inside, I was torn between the jealousy that I hadn't been the one to break the curse; and happiness that Penelope had not said yes to that, um, unpleasant fellow Edward. Oh, who am I kidding, he's an ass. And there was also the side of me that was overflowing with love for Penelope.

On the outside, I replied, "The name's Johnny."

"Right. I knew that, Johnny."

And then I couldn't resist. I reached out and caressed her face; then I kissed her once again, except this time I didn't pull away. There was no doubt in my mind that THIS was what I wanted.

I gently tugged on her bottom lip with my teeth. I was pleasantly surprised to feel Penelope moan softly and open her mouth to my kisses.

_I've got to stop this before it gets too far_, I thought to myself.

Little Penelope was far too good at it; her tongue danced lightly with mine, at first so soft and hesitant, then seductive and nearly dominant.

My mind was a jumble of incoherent thoughts; it felt as though all my blood had migrated south. I thought, _WTF, what a way to ruin the moment._

"Oh, Penelope" I whispered softly to her. "I was so worried when the press was talking about your... disappearance and then when...."

"Enough, Johnny." She murmured, placing a finger over my lips. "I'm here now, aren't I? Let's not talk about what happened before. I understand. I heard the whole story from Wanda, who couldn't hold herself back from telling me about you, and I just kind of understood the rest. I get you, Johnny. It's sort of hard to explain but, really, I do."

My beautiful Penelope's eyes were shining with earnestness at the end of her little speech, and their beauty --as corny as it sounds-- took my breath away. Who knew that wasn't just some romantic-sap figure of speech? Gosh, I had really fallen for this girl. Head-over-heels. Me, Johnny Martin. Mr. Flying-It-Solo. Penelope is the second --don't ask about the first, it's a long, painful story-- and last person I wanted to say "I love you" to. _Speaking of those three little words, I probably should tell her_, I thought. Maybe that would explain some of my more… lusty… actions tonight.

"Look," I say, "I really was worried when you disappeared because..." I paused. "What I'm trying to tell you is: I love you, Penelope. I loved you before the curse was broken, nose and ears and all. I loved you so much that I declined to marry you, because I was afraid that you would reject me for not breaking the curse. I wanted to go to that out-of-town job not just to get away from gambling, but to get away from those sick people dressed up as you, and from the memories. Which, by the way, we only have like a week of them, and you didn't even know my real name, and…"

"But none of that matters!" she whisper-shouted. "Do you believe in love at first sight? I don't! I believe in love at first speak, and from the first time you said something to me, I just kept thinking: _He stayed -He stayed! - He's the one! _When you left... that was the first time I cried over a suitor who thought that I was hideous. Which I guess you didn't really think so. Really. And now, with the curse broken I can finally be with you, Johnny. I WANT to be with you. And not just to break to curse, because that's already done...Sometimes the brain and heart agree on something; something infinitely important; the most sought after, beautiful, and difficult to find emotions in the universe. True, pure, real love. And I believe I've found it with you."

I just stood there with my mouth gaping open at her powerful words. _God, I love her, _I thought.

"Did you understand that, Einstein?" Penelope whispered teasingly.

"Uh-huh," I moaned as Penelope attacked my lips.

She pulled away less than an inch and whispered, "I love you, too."

My previous thought about ruining the moment was completely nullified.

I could feel Penelope press her slender body against my own wide one and I shuddered with pleasure. How long had we been kissing? Five minutes? Twenty? Time had no meaning right then. All I wanted was to be with her for the rest of my life.

I was unable to restrain myself as I steered Penelope towards the couch, but then I regained control of my body when we plunked down on the aged piece of furniture. I pulled away and whispered, "We should stop."

"Yeah, we really should," Penelope answered, "the question is, do we want to stop?"

"No, we most definitely do not want to stop," I was speaking for both my brain (now devoid of blood) and my now-throbbing cock (who had stolen all the brain's blood).

I was greatly upset when Penelope completely pulled away, snapped out her vibrating cell phone, and said, "No, we really have to stop. Annie's calling. Hold on a sec. Hey, Annie! Can you call me back later? Uh, no, that's not it."

Penelope blushed and then held the phone away from her body. I could hear a woman's laugh coming out of the speaker. Penelope sighed and put the phone back up to her ear.

"Listen, Annie, I'll talk to you later. Yeah, sure. Bye." Penelope sighed, frustrated. She put her phone away, and all of a sudden her face got all sad-looking. "Are you still going to go out of town?"

"With this sudden turn of events, I think not," I said with a devilish smile. "Anyways, where were we?"

Penelope returned the smile and said, "I think we were discussing whether we should stop. So what's the final decision on that?"

"I think you know," I responded, and then I picked her up bridal style and carried her to my bedroom.

________________________________________________________________________

**A/N:** So, what did you think???? If you liked it, please review. If you didn't like it, review anyways. Tell me if I was too sappy or corny or if it was OK... Thanks!!!

PS: thank you so much to bookworm-with-bite, who greatly contributed to the making of this story 


	2. Date

Guys, I'm sorry I took so long to update, but I've been über busy lately... Here is the next exciting chapter!

**Disclaimer:** Sadly, Johnny is not mine. Neither is the movie, but that I don't care so much about...

On the short way to my small bedroom, a million thoughts raced through my head. _Why am I doing this? Why not? Is Penelope really okay with this? Is this what I want? Does she know what she's doing? Should I really do this? Is this really the right thing to do? _

The last thought was stuck inside my brain, but I decided to put it to the side, as we had arrived to the long-awaited destination. _Well, at least it's the long-awaited destination of my fantasies, _I thought. I gently set Penelope down on the creaky bed, leaned down to kiss her, and then slowly pulled away.

"Johnny? Is something wrong?" Penelope asked.

Gosh. We'd only gotten to know each other for a week, and she could already read my emotions as if they were written on my forehead.

I walked over to the other side of the bed unhurriedly, and I lightly hopped on the bed. I scooted over and pulled Penelope into a hug. When we were comfortably snuggled together, I said, "I'm not sure this is the right thing to do. Maybe we should wait."

Penelope looked up at me. She stared for what felt like an eternity. I looked right back.

She sighed and said, "I guess you're right. I don't really want to act like some dirty harlot. On the bright side, I still get to keep you."

She smiled a sweet smile, and I said, "That's true. We can just start out slow. How does a date sound to you?" Her grin widened. "Cloverdilly Pub?" she asked. "Sounds great! And I think you'd better call Annie and tell her where you are," I replied.

"Nah, she's probably already drunk. She wouldn't need to know anyways."

What happened after that is still a bit hazy in my memories.

At the Cloverdilly Pub, we both ordered beers on tap. We talked about what had happened since the "pig-faced girl" disappeared. Penelope had become a teacher-slash-horticulturist and moved into her own apartment. Her mom was still mute, and her dad frequently called her on the phone. My life had just been one big black hole since the wedding fiasco. I told Penelope I didn't want to talk about it, and I challenged her to a chugging contest. We downed more than a few beers each. After that it was shot after shot after shot. We were both very drunk, but Penelope still managed to look beautiful while burping. I'm quite sure I didn't look as good as her, but I was too wasted to care. I paid the tab and we left. Penelope hiccupped all the way to a coffee shop down the street, where we both had a few cups of black coffee.

"That was fun. I have a horrible headache, but it was fun," Penelope said.

"Yeah, although I don't think I want to do it again. At least not the drinking part," I replied.

We were strolling along the street, and we were almost to where Penelope told me her apartment was. Once we got there she invited me upstairs to get acquainted with her new home. We stepped into the elevator and started the long trip to floor 24, where Penelope's apartment was. I was still a bit drunk, and I think Penelope was too, because when we were at about floor 5, she fell off balance and bumped into me.

"Be careful. You don't want to hurt yourself," I said as I caught her, and then pulled her into my arms. She looked up at me and I just couldn't resist. Drunk as I was, I was still aware of her body pressed warmly against mine as we started kissing. It was a lovely kiss, slow and loving, but as the elevator continued to rise, the kiss became more passionate.

By the time we reached the 24th floor, Penelope was backed up against the elevator doors, so when the elevator dinged and the doors opened, Penelope almost fell on her behind. She pulled away and reached into her coat pocket for her keys, opened the door and pulled me into her apartment. I was too busy kissing her again to notice how the apartment was decorated.

As we continued to passionately kiss, she turned us around and began pushing me towards a doorway. She reached out and hit a light switch, and her room came into view. I took control again and pushed her towards the bed. I leaned over so we fell onto the bed. My heart was already racing, but it almost stopped when Penelope slowly stopped kissing me and her head began to fall back. My heart began to slow down when I realized she had just passed out. _She must be very, very tired. And drunk._ I gently moved her so that I could pull the covers over her, but before I did that, I removed her coat and shoes. I took out the clips from her hair and set them down on the night stand. I had actually removed a woman's bra before, so I had no trouble taking hers off from under her shirt. I didn't dare to take off anymore of her clothes, so I simply pulled the covers over her, leaned down, and kissed her soft lips.

I turned out the lights and walked to the other side of the bed, then quickly removed my shirt, shoes, and jeans. When I was only in my underwear and an undershirt, I slid underneath the covers and put my arm over Penelope's shoulder. That was how I fell asleep, and how I woke up the next morning.

A/N: Sorry that it didn't have a lemon; I know you guys wanted the frolicking to continue, but hey, who ever said life was fair? Don't worry, the lemons will come in time, but I sense this was not the right time. But mark my words, IT SHALT BE SOON-ETH! But you have to review, of course

A/N: Minor adjustments have been made because I thought some stuff sounded stupid. Someday, my perfectionism will be the death of me.


	3. At the park

**A/N**: _**READ THIS BEFORE YOU READ THIS CHAPTER!!**_ Again, sorry for taking so long, but I've had so much stuff to do it's crazy. I've decided to switch from Johnny's POV to third person, that way later parts will not be as awkward to write. Also I think I _might _rewrite the second chapter because I was reading over it and I was like WHAAT?? That makes no sense. And it's so corny. So yeah... Tell me what you think about it...

**Disclaimer**: You guys know the drill. It's not mine.

Chapter 3

The months passed on and Johnny and Penelope continued their lives. Johnny opened a candy shop, and Penelope started her own school. She taught first grade in her school, and she adored the kids. One day, she decided to take her class to a park for a scavenger hunt in which they would have to find nature stuff, "Like leaves and flowers and anything you think is interesting. No animals though!" The small children all nodded their little heads. "Remember to come back here to the big tree for lunch!" Penelope told her class [A/N: I know that's not what she says in the movie, but I haven't watched it in a while].

She turned around and faced Johnny, who had come along to help chaperone the field trip. He nodded over to the old swing hanging from the giant oak tree and asked, "Shall we, mademoiselle?"

Penelope laughed. "Lead the way."

They ran to the swing holding hands and laughing, and once they got there, Penelope sat down and Johnny walked around to her backside and began to push her, slowly at first but building more momentum every time the swing came back. Penelope giggled as she swung her legs back and forth.

"You know you've been spending too much time with the little kids when you giggle at something as simple as a swing," Johnny said.

"Well, how about you try it? It _is_ quite giggle-worthy!" she replied.

"Nah, I think I'd rather stay down here and listen to you laugh like a child..."

He pushed her higher. She laughed. He stopped her the next time the swing came down. He walked around to the other side and pulled her out of the swing, into his arms. He leaned in and inched towards her face. She moved in too, and rested her forehead on his. "I love you," he whispered. She would have responded, were it not for the fact that he quickly tilted his head and moved his lips to hers. The rest of the world was forgotten as they kissed under the big tree. Johnny pulled away for a second to catch his breath and leaned in for a second kiss, this time taking it further. He licked her bottom lip, soliciting access to the inside, and receiving consent right away. He caressed every portion of her mouth with his tongue, loving every bit of it. He pulled away again, but this time it was to move down and bite the soft place where her neck met her shoulder. _Wait, I'm wearing a coat; how did he..mmm... get to my... oooh.... neck? Oh, well... aah.. a-another mystery for ... ohhhh.. another day... _Penelope was feeling (and looking) quite dazed right now, and her insides felt like the Jell-o the kids brought for lunch, but somehow she managed to pull Johnny up for another passionate kiss.

"Um, Miss Penny?" came a small, frightened voice.

"Dammit!" Johnny shoved one of his hands deeper into his pocket, but Penelope didn't think anything of it. She smoothed down her hair as she looked at the first grader standing before her.

"Mr. Johnny didn't mean to say that bad word, Chloe." Stern look directed at the guy with the messy hair. "What is it?"

"Well, David found this really cool-looking stick, and it started moving, and, you're not going to believe it, Miss Penny, the stick BIT him!!" the girl said.

Penelope's mind completely switched gears. "Oh, goodness! Where is he? Come on, you can show me. But let's go quickly, okay?" Penelope told Chloe.

The girl nodded quickly, grabbed Penelope's hand, and started running towards the other side of the big hill. Penelope spared one last glance at Johnny, who was standing by the swing with a peeved look on his face. _Men_, Penelope thought as she rolled her eyes.

A/N: sorry to make it so short, but I feel like I should give you guys SOMETHING, even if it's not that long... I'll be updating as soon as I can though (probably sometime this week, since it's Christmas break and I have nothing to do), I promise


	4. Grownups

A/N: I'm sorry that I lied to you. I said it would be soon, and it's been over a month, but right before Christmas we found out my grandma has cancer, so I really didn't have much

inspiration. Just FYI, there IS a reason why Johnny has a candy shop... just you wait and see.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except for a crappy laptop (with awesome keyboard stickers!) and my strange imagination. Enjoy

Chapter 4

As Johnny was sitting on the swing, pondering the meaning of life (not really, that's just a figure of speech), he saw Penelope walking back to the big tree, holding the hands of two kids

with the rest of the class following behind in a semi-organized way.

"Crisis sort-of-averted. It was a non-poisonous snake. David got a nasty bite, though," she said to him, glancing at the small boy at her side. He looked like he had been crying, and was

holding Penelope's hand as if it was his lifeline and he was drowning in the sea.

"Oh, that's good. Is it time for lunch yet?" Johnny asked.

Penelope laughed and said, "Yes. And to think you were the one calling me childish earlier. Can't wait patiently like a grown-up, huh?" she scolded him. She laughed again, letting him

know that it was meant in a joking manner.

_Oh, you have_ no _idea,_ Johnny thought.

oOoOoOoOoOo

_Later that day..._

Johnny stood in front of his bathroom mirror, checking his hair for the thousandth time. He put his hand in his pocket to check for the item he had been carrying around all day. After that

he checked his suit for lint, stains, or any other blemishes, checked his watch, and his hair again. This time he caught himself and thought, _Wow, what a pansy, Johnny_. When he was sure

everything was in place, he grabbed his keys and walked out the door. As he drove, he gave himself a mental pep talk. _You can do this. It's what you want. You WILL do this tonight. It's _

_what you've been waiting for. Yes. I can do this. Come on, Johnny. There's nothing to worry about. Everything will be okay. Whew. _

* * *

He stood in front of Penelope's door and lightly bounced as he waited for her to answer. He thought of running back to his car. He was seriously considering the option when Penelope

opened the door. "Sorry I took so long," she said as she smoothed out the creases on her dress,"I was looking for—um, is something wrong?" Johnny just stood there gaping, all thoughts

of escape fleeing his head. He shook his head, "No, no. Not at all. Completely the opposite, in fact." He swallowed hard as he fully took in her image. She was wearing a short green dress

with a silver shawl, silver heels, and a single diamond drop on a delicate silver chain. Her hair was in perfect waves; not too curly and not too straight, and it was parted on the side. Small

diamond earrings. Nothing on her wrists. No purse. He swallowed once more. She twirled around quickly, and a wave of a soft vanilla scent assaulted Johnny's nose. He saw her mouth

moving, but he didn't hear any words. He shook his head again to clear his mind, and said, "I'm sorry, what was that?"

"Just asking if this was OK," she responded. She spoke slowly, as if she were speaking to a small child.

"Oh. Yeah. It is."

He swallowed a third time.

"So... Shouldn't we get going? The reservation was for 7, right?" she said after a moment of silence.

"The reservation! Right. Yeah, of course."

Johnny seemed to be having trouble forming full sentences, and Penelope laughed at his guy-ness. She grabbed his arm when he offered it to her, and they walked in silence to the

elevator and then to the car.

A/N: I know. It sucks. But I feel really bad for leaving you guys (the few who have read this) without anything. Oh, and when I started this chapter, my grandma had cancer, and now (April) she is happily cancer-free , so no worries about that. I will really try to update more often, but please don't hate me if I don't. Thanks for sticking with me!! PLEASE REVIEW


	5. Joy in Japanese

Chapter 5

A/N: I'm baaaack! Well, here is the next mediocre chapter. I have to admit that I discovered that I'm not very good at writing these, but I'm no quitter.

Disclaimer: I don't own Penelope, or else I'd be rich and famous. Which I'm not (sadly).

The restaurant was incredibly fancy. The lobby had white marble floors and the walls looked like they were embedded with sand-colored pebbles. There was water running down the wall and into a giant glass basin behind a podium, at which a sharp-looking woman was standing. Penelope could hear a piano playing softly while Johnny said their name to the woman. They were led through a large archway with huge bamboo stalks coming out of the ground at either side. Penelope was in awe. Although her parents were quite wealthy, she had never gotten to enjoy the luxuries of the outside world, thanks to her appearance. She had no idea how Johnny had managed to find such a place. She was still taking in her surroundings when the maitre d' pulled out a chair for her, and when Johnny ordered their drinks. In fact, she was still checking out the bonsai trees that lined the edge of another waterfall by the time their sushi arrived.

"Do you like it?" Johnny asked, fumbling with his napkin.

"Yes. Very much. Yeah, I do." It was Penelope's turn to have a momentary lapse of incompetence. Johnny chuckled at her response.

After the sashimi, nigiri, and rolls were gone, Johnny took Penelope up to the terrace on the roof, where they sat on a bench and enjoyed the cool night. They talked about trivial things, and Johnny could not keep his mind focused. He wasn't paying attention to what Penelope was saying; he was trying to think of what he was going to say.

"...and the kids like the strawberry Jell-o much better than the lemon one. Which I guess makes more sense, don't you think?"

He couldn't come up with a good way to say it! This was so frustrating! He decided to wing it.

"Don't you?"

"Will you marry me?"

"What?"

"Penelope, will you marry me? I love you more than I've ever loved anyone else, and I've loved you for a long time. Will you marry me?" He awkwardly pulled out the box that had been in his pants pocket for two days. The ring inside was a simple platinum band with a round brilliant cut diamond sandwiched between two small, round aquamarine stones. It was beautiful in its simplicity.

The ineptitude returned to Penelope, and all she could do was gape; after a few seconds she snapped her mouth shut, smiled, and started nodding like a madwoman. Moments after the nodding registered in Johnny's mind, Penelope launched herself at him and held him in a vise-like grip.

"Yes, yes yes yes. Absolutely yes. I love you, yes," she mumbled the same words over and over into Johnny's ear, and he picked her up and swung her around. By the time Penelope was starting to get dizzy, Johnny set her down, snatched the velvety box from the bench, and slipped the ring onto Penelope's finger. He then proceeded to kiss her in a way that made her think she would pass out from lack of oxygen, and happiness, and wonderfulness, and love, and just everything that made that an amazing evening. Johnny couldn't help but think, _She said_ yes!

A/N: Short, I know, sorry about that, but some lemony goodness is coming up!


	6. Around the Block

A/N: Hello again, my lovelies! I'm trying to update as quickly as I can because in about a week I will be going to Italy and France (staying for THREE WEEKS!). During this time, I will allow myself no Facebook, no TV (well, I doubt that since the World Cup will be on), no computer, no technology. I am going to have a fabulous time and I am not going to think about writing this story, or anything else for that matter. I will, however, bring a notebook with me for the long train ride from Ravena to Paris. Hopefully this story will get a little plot in it!

Disclaimer: Not mine, duh.

Chapter 6

Jessica Wilhern was going to have a heart attack. Not only had she been mute for almost TWO YEARS now, but she was going to have to plan ANOTHER wedding, and this one to some

good-for-nothing who didn't deserve her daughter. She HAD to pretend to like him, and if she said so herself—no pun intended—she did a mighty good job acting the part of the perfect

mother-of-the-girlfriend, well, now future-mother-in-law. In the deepest parts of her soul, she wanted to make this the most horrible wedding in all of history, simply because that Johnny

fellow was not an heir to a fortune or a man of good family. But no, she would not do that. Do you have any idea what that would do to her reputation as a hostess? She was already

mute, for goodness' sakes! No, she would have to make this wedding ten times, no A THOUSAND TIMES, better than the almost-wedding to Edward. She would have to get to planning

right away, and not just wedding plans...

oOoOoOoOo

Franklin Wilhern was going to die of heartbreak. His only daughter, his darling Penelope, was going to get married. And this time was for real. There were no words to describe the

betrayal and sadness and jealousy he felt at losing his pride and joy to another man. He would never consider anyone worthy of Penelope, but this Johnny chap came pretty close. He had

to concede. If it made Penelope happy, he would have to let her go. To tell the truth, he hadn't been worried about her getting married to Edward. He knew Penelope well enough to see

that she loathed that man, and even if she were married to him, Daddy would still be number one. Johnny, however, was a problem, because he could see Penelope dearly loved him, and

she would probably forget about her old father while she was in her new little bubble of love. He had lost his only child to another. What a horrible feeling.

oOoOoOoOo

Penelope Wilhern had very, very hot feet. In fact, it might even be said she suffered from some disease that made her blood vessels circulate absolutely too much blood in her extremities.

She was extremely eager to get married. Oh, the wedding was going to be fabulous, and she was going to have children of her own some day (and the girls would be pig-nose-free!), and,

golly, SHE WAS GETTING MARRIED! TO JOHNNY! THE MOST WONDERFUL, HANDSOME, SMART, FUNNY, UNDERSTANDING, LOVING MAN IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD! Every time she saw

anything on the street it would remind her of a wedding—white shirt(DRESS!)flowers in the beds(BOUQUETS!)a man(JOHNNY!)cake(CAKE!). Her head was just floating on poofy, wedding-

dress-colored clouds...

oOoOoOoOo

Johnny Martin was going to have a nervous breakdown. He was getting married. Oh, god. Oh, dear god. Sweet lord baby Jesus, he was getting married! He had to breathe. Breathe,

godammit, BREATHE. In, out. Breathe in and out, nice and slow. Okay. He made a list in his mind of all the good things that would come from getting married—1. Penelope was all his. He

didn't have to share her! 2. Kids. KIDS? No, no, scratch that. 2. Oh god. There was no 2! Calm down, idiot! Think. 2. Sex, finally. NO YOU DOUCHE GET YOUR DICK OUT OF YOUR HEAD! TWO!

He was going to have to start with his list again.

oOoOoOoOo

Lemon was excited. He had just received a call from his ex-archenemy, Mrs. Wilhern. He was going to shoot the wedding of Penelope and Johnny. Oh, the possibilities! He was going to

have a blast taking pictures of them. The young couple was so photogenic. Oh, yes, this was going on the newspapers front page. This would be the wedding of the century!


	7. Socks

A/N: I just caught my own mistake on the last chapter: Lemon couldn't have gotten a call from Mrs. Wilhern because she is mute. Let's just say he got a call from... uh... HER AGENT. Yes. That works. Awesome! On with the story.

Disclaimer: As I have told you for the past six chapters, Penelope doesn't belong to me.

Chapter 7: Socks

Everything was in place. The wedding was to take place in one month. One measly month was all the time that was left. Penelope ran through her mental list.

Location—check

Flower arrangements and centerpieces—check

Caterer—check

Seating arrangements—check

Invitations—check and check—the phone was already off the hook with RSVP's.

Wedding cake—check

Bridesmaids and groomsmen—well more like best man and maid of honor—check

Official, priest, minister, or other—check

Maid of honor dress/best man's tux—check

Wedding dress and groom's tux—no check for the dress, double check for tux

Bride—check (yay!)

Groom—MIA. Uh oh. Not good. Not good at all.

oOoOoOoOo

The refrigerator in Johnny's old apartment was a humongous stainless-steel monster with the freezer on the left and the fridge side on the right. Johnny paced back in front of it—he had actually been pacing back and forth for such a long time that if the fridge were a monster, it would have already eaten him out of irritation. Back and forth Johnny paced, clutching a black dry-erase marker. He had come to his old apartment to cool down and collect his thoughts, which was ridiculous since six months had already passed since he had popped the question. He was absolutely sure he loved Penelope, but he was EXTREMELY nervous about getting married. It wasn't that he was afraid of the commitment; no, not at all. He had decided to try the list thing again, but this time with props, hence the marker. He had the pros of getting married on the right side of the fridge and the cons on the left. So far, the list looked like this

Pros:

No sharing Penelope

Sex

Kids

Sex

Someone to count on

Free psychotherapy (haha—at least he could talk to her...)

Sex

Cons:

In-laws

Kids

Less freedom (_what the heck, it's not like I'm the type of guy who needs freedom. I barely ever do anything that_ requires _freedom)_

So far the list of pros was longer than the cons. "Kids" was on both sides, which should kinda cancel itself out. That left pro vs. con at 4-2. He had crossed out "sex" twice, telling himself to stop thinking with his dick, but he ended up counting it as a valid point.

_Oh well. I can't think of any other things. I guess I'll find out more _after _we get married._

It looked like someone needed a pair of socks to warm their cold feet.

oOoOoOoOo

Penelope was looking everywhere for Johnny. He wasn't at the Cloverdilly Pub, or at the café down the street, or at the park near her building where they usually took their evening walk. There were only a few other places he could be—back at that horrible gambling place, or maybe at the other park where they had taken Penelope's class. Maybe (_please don't let him be there!_) the police station? At the seamstress', getting his tux readjusted? None of those were very likely, seeing as the gambling place had been shut down, the park was over an hour away, Johnny followed all the laws (at least she hoped he did), and his tux had already been adjusted and rechecked twice. There was only one other place he could have gone.

A/N: REVIEW. I'm putting this here so you'll actually read it!

oOoOoOoOo

He had put down the marker and put on a pair of running shoes. He was going for a jog; he really needed to relax. His jog wasn't very long; he only jogged around the block twice (it was a fairly small block). He came back inside and walked briskly across the deserted bar. He took the stairs two steps at a time, something he always did after jogging. His eyes found Penelope before he reached his door. She was about to knock on the door when he tripped over his shoelace and fell flat on his face. A loud "Ow, shit!" followed by a "Johnny?" could be heard throughout the empty locale. Johnny jumped up, forever the macho man denying he even fell, and brushed off his hands. Before he could even say "Hello, gorgeous. I didn't trip. I attacked the floor," she ran to him and threw her arms around him, whispering "Thank goodness I found you."

She looked back up to his face and noticed his deer-caught-in-headlights eyes, so she asked, "Are you alright, love?"

He stuttered, "I-I, um, I-I j-just—"

She let him go and took a step back. "Oh, Johnny... Is this about the wedding? If you don't want to get married, we don't have to do it," she whispered.

Suddenly, Johnny had tunnel vision, and all he could see was her. The grief on her face showed Johnny that it would break her heart to call off the wedding, and _that_ in turn broke _his_ heart (he was also surprised—AGAIN—at how easily she could read him). He realized at that moment that Penelope loved him a lot, enough to cancel her dreams for him. He made up his mind: he was going to go back upstairs, erase the lists from his fridge, and get married without a second thought. If Penelope was willing to do anything for him, he would do anything for her.

"No, no. I _do_ want to. I guess I had cold feet, but now they're all warmed up from jogging in these stinky tennis shoes. Besides, isn't it the girl who gets cold feet?"

"Uh-huh," Penelope murmured with a trace of suspicion still on her face.

"It's still early. I'm going dress hunting with Annie and Mother, so my cell will be turned off. Be home for dinner though!" she said as she pecked his cheek and walked away.

_Damn. She even walks sexily. And her cooking... Mmmmmm... I'll add her cooking to the list, and THEN I'll erase it._

A/N: Ta-daa! There it is... Another boringly short chapter. I apologize for my crappy writing. I think I'll be updating more often now, seeing as I am back from my fabulous European extravaganza and sitting on my lazy butt for the rest of the summer. By the way, if you travel to Europe, go to a 1 Euro store and buy yourself a fan. Also, bring an ice-machine with you, because those stinky Europeans think ice and air-conditioning are bad for you. They literally give you one ice-cube in your drink, if they give you ice at all. It was a good trip anyways... I might make their honeymoon be in Italy/Paris, and make it a parallel to my trip! As always, REVIEW!


	8. Escape

If you want to see pictures of the dresses, I have links on my profile, all the way to the bottom of the page.

A/N: I'm sorry for the inconsistency of the formatting, and I'm sorry for the whole snafu that is chapter 6. That was an epic spacing failure. Here is chapter 8 for my lovelies. I must also apologize for the intensely long wait (for those of you who still keep up with this story—I love you!), but you guys know... school, sports, the usual deal. On with the story, then.

PS: Thanks to misshansson96 for the suggestion for this chapter's plot :)

Also, I just switched from a PC to a Mac (so much better!), but I'm still getting used to the new software, so the formatting is probably still off. Thanks for sticking with me, though!

Disclaimer: Don't make me type it again. Okay, fine. I don't own Penelope.

Chapter 8: Escape

"Dad! I'm home!" Penelope yelled as she stepped through the front doors of the Wilhern mansion.

"Hello, sweetheart. Was your dress shopping successful?" Franklin Wilhern peeked out of the entrance to his study and answered his daughter. "Come and sit!" he added.

"Yep. Annie and I decided to go for a wintery theme to go with the color of the other dresses and the flowers. And we found the PERFECT dress! I am so excited, you wouldn't believe it," she said as she exhaustedly plopped into an overstuffed armchair in her father's study. "And Mother actually approved! I thought she would make me wear another horrid dress like that, ugh, feathery one for the almost-wedding."

"Well, that's good, sweetheart. Speaking of your mother, where is she? And Annie, for that matter?" her father asked.

"Oh, Mother sort of blew up when she saw Annie's hair. You know how she put purple streaks in it for Halloween? Well, Mom started waving her hands in the air trying to signal to Annie's head, but she just ended up looking like an epileptic duck. Anyways, she took Annie to the salon to get her hair fixed, which I don't understand, since there's like a whole month left before the wedding and—"

"Slow down, honey, you sound like a tape on fast forward! I understand you're very excited, but I thought I would talk to you about more important things," Mr. Wilhern said seriously.

"Such as?" The exhilarated look on her face slowly melted off.

"Well, for starters, I wanted to discuss financial issues."

Penelope gulped. "Dad, I—"

"No, no, it's not what you think. I just," he sighed, "I'm not getting any younger. And you, you are all grown up. I just wanted to let you know that everything I own will be going to you and Johnny when I...you know, bite the dust. Of course, I'll provide for your mother, and such…" he trailed off. Penelope felt incredibly put off, so she took a water bottle out of her purse and began to nervously sip. Mr. Wilhern, who suddenly looked very old, took a deep breath and put on a happy face. "I also wanted to tell you that I'm financing as much of the wedding as I can as well as your honeymoon. Speaking of which, have you heard the tale of the birds and the bees?"

Penelope nearly choked on the mouthful of water she had just swallowed.

"Jesus, Dad, no need to tell me about that! You and Mother may have physically sheltered me, but I've learned a lot since I changed."

Mr. Wilhern's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets and he turned a rather scary shade of purple in a few milliseconds.

"OH, NO NO NO. No, Dad, not from experience. Wikipedia is a good teacher. Just saying."

He heaved a sigh of relief, and so did Penelope. When his coloring had returned to normal, she picked up her purse and shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

"Um, okay Dad… I'll just be on my way… I have to get home and make dinner anyways…" Penelope got up, gave her father a quick peck on the cheek and ran out of her old home as fast as she could.

A/N: in reference to Chapter 4, I digress. My imagination is not that strange, although I do have some wacky dreams sometimes. I brought that up only because it's very useful to re-read what you've written, especially so you catch mistakes like the one about Mrs. Wilhern calling Lemon.


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